You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
