Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
