I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
