How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
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