I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
