but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Randomize
