Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
