Whoa Z and x make the same sound
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
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