He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Randomize
