you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
