its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize
