It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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