Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
