Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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