I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
