I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Randomize
