there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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