Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Randomize
