I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
