I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
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my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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