South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I take back everything I said about communal showers
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
