Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
