last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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