The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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