i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
