i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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