You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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