I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
It's just like the Real World with babies
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
