Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
