Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
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