Are we in a gay sports bar?
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
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