This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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