so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you win again, gameday.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Boobs are out for the taking
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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