Duck Duck Cougar?
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
