nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
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