Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
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