I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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