also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Screwed.edu
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
This toilet bowl is my home.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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