Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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