Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
The best revenge is premature balding
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
