is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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