that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
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