He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
