fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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