Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize