I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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