You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
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