Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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