Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
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