do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
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