do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Randomize
