Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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