I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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