Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
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