Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
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