We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
