Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
my nose is crying tears of wow.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Randomize
