I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Randomize
