note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
