If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
