A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
