maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
