If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
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I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
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just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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