then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Randomize
