If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
