The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
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