Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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