If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
