I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
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