Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
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