I showed him my bush... on skype.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
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